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The Accidental Vampire : Argeneau Vampire Series : Book 7 - Lynsay Sands

The Accidental Vampire

Argeneau Vampire Series : Book 7

Paperback

Published: 26th December 2007
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Published: 13th October 2009
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Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman—dead or alive.

Rich, powerful, and drop—dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for a novice neck—biter like Elvi. He's willing to teach her everything he knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe—and satisfied—for all eternity.

About the Author

Born in Southern Ontario, Lynsay Sands is the New York Times bestselling author of the Argeneau Vampire series. She has written more than 34 books and anthologies since her first novel was published in 1997. Her romantic comedies span three genres historical, contemporary, and paranormal and have made the Waldenbooks, Barnes & Noble, USA Today, and New York Times bestseller lists.

Lynsay's books are read in more than twelve countries and have been translated into at least six languages. She's been a nominee for both the Romantic Times Best Historical Romance Award and the Romantic Times Best Paranormal Romance Award, was nominated and placed three times in the RIO (Reviewers International Organization) Awards of Excellence, and has several books on All About Romance's Favorite Funnies list.

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The Accidental Vampire
 
5.0

(based on 1 review)

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5.0

Can't put it down

By jodo

from Byron Bay

About Me Bookworm

Verified Buyer

Pros

  • Deserves Multiple Readings
  • Engaging Characters
  • Page Turner
  • Well Written

Cons

    Best Uses

    • Gift
    • Older Readers
    • Travel Reading
    • Younger Readers

    Comments about The Accidental Vampire:

    Couldn't put the book down, passed it onto friends. A great series, completely different to what we have seen in the past.

    Comment on this review

    Chapter One

    It was a high-pitched scream that woke Elvi. Piercing and full of terror, it ripped her from sleep and had her moving before she was quite awake. She started up abruptly only to curse and drop back down when her head slammed into the wooden lid of the coffin.

    Groaning at the pain vibrating through her skull, Elvi closed her eyes against the stars dancing before them and pressed a hand against her forehead. She'd really cracked herself good and would have liked to clasp her head in both hands and roll around in agony for a moment, but the casket wouldn't allow it.

    And then a second terrified shriek reminded her of why she was awake.

    She reached out with the hand not holding her head and gave the coffin lid a shove that sent it flying open. She then had to release her head to get up. Climbing out of a coffin was a two-handed job, and ridiculously strenuous first thing in the morning. Especially before her first bag of blood.

    Elvi cursed her way out of the contraption, her bare feet slapping on the hardwood floor as she hurried out of her room without even bothering to grab a robe to cover the white cotton nightgown she wore. Another scream cut the air as she raced up the hall. A fourth was being issued just as she burst into Mabel's room. Elvi slammed the door open, uncaring that it crashed into the wall and probably left a lovely hole.

    She spotted Mabel at once, standing on the bed in her robe, backed against the wall, silver hair a chaotic mass around her head and eyes wide with panic. The woman was waving a body brush wildly in the air at a bat that was swooping just aswildly around the room near the ceiling. She was also, apparently, screeching every time the winged animal came anywhere near her. Elvi watched as the bat swerved to avoid hitting the far wall and swooped back toward Mabel, setting off another shriek.

    Veering to the side to avoid the waving shower brush, the bat swept through the open bathroom door and briefly out of sight. Elvi rushed over and slammed the door closed, trapping it inside. "Oh!" Mabel collapsed on the bed, hugging the shower brush to her chest. "Oh, thank God."

    Elvi propped her hands on her hips and scowled at her housemate. "You opened your windows last night." Mabel sighed at the accusation in her voice. "I had to open the windows. It was hot, Elvi." "I know it was hot, Mabel. I live here too."

    "But your windows have screens on them. The ones in your bedroom, at least."

    "I sleep in a coffin," she pointed out in dry tones. "There are no windows in a coffin. Trust me, I know it was hot. But you can't open your windows until the replacement screens are in." "Well, when the hell are they going to put them in already?" Mabel asked impatiently. "It's been two weeks now."

    "They had to be specially made and shipped from the manufacturer," Elvi reminded her.

    "Yes, because every damned window in this place is a different size," Mabel muttered.

    Elvi's mouth quirked with amusement at her disgust. "Welcome to the world of Victorian houses. Ain't it great?"

    "Ha!" Mabel snarled, and then sat up with alarm when Elvi moved toward the door to the hall. "Hey! Where are you going?"

    "Back to my coffin."

    "But what about the bat?" she asked with dismay, scrambling off the bed as quickly as her sixty-two-year-old body would allow and hurrying after her.

    "What about it?" she asked, continuing up the hall.

    "Well, aren't you going to get it out of my bathroom?"

    "Do I look stupid to you?" Elvi asked with disbelief. "I'm not going near that thing. Call Animal Control."

    "Animal Control? They won't be open now."

    "They must have someone on call for emergencies. Call and find out," Elvi said firmly over her shoulder.

    "But that could take hours," Mabel protested. "Can't you just get it out? I mean, you should have some sort of affinity with it."

    Elvi paused at the door to her own room and turned on her in amazement. "Do I look like a flying rat to you?"

    "No, of course not," Mabel said quickly, then added, "but you're a vampire and it's a bat . . . There should be some empathy or understanding or . . . something. Maybe if you tried you could talk to it."

    "Right, and by that reasoning we should all be able to talk to monkeys. Let's try that the next time we're near a zoo," Elvi snorted, then repeated, "call Animal Control."

    "Elvi!" Mabel cried and stomped her foot when Elvi turned to continue on into her room. "I can't take a shower with that thing in there."

    "Mabel, there are six bathrooms in this house with showers and tubs. Use one of the others."

    "But—"

    Elvi closed the door on her further protest and moved toward the coffin, but paused when her eye caught the time on the digital clock on her dresser. Whipping back around, she yanked her door open and scowled at Mabel's retreating back. "It's nine o'clock!"

    "So?" Mabel sounded miffed and kept walking.

    "So why didn't you wake me up at eight o'clock like I asked?"

    "Because you haven't been sleeping well, and you're exhausted, and I decided to let you sleep in . . . rather kindly in my opinion, but then I'm a kind considerate person . . . unlike some people who won't even try to talk to a bat for a dear faithful friend."

    Elvi scowled over the attempt to put her on a guilt trip, and then ground out, "Mabel, it's Owen's birthday today. I have to make a cake and see to the decorations, and—"
    Lynsay Sands

    I was born in 1142 which is why my first love is historicals. I’ll let you guess why I love stories of immortals…er…well, vampires to you people. When I first started writing the family history, everyone was up in arms, afraid I was revealing too much, but I explained they were being published as fiction and I wouldn’t use real names. Of course, that was before I found I just couldn’t write the stories with other names…

    Just kidding! I couldn’t resist. Of course, I’m not a vampire. I wouldn’t mind being one. It would be a heck of a diet and I’m always looking for a successful diet, but despite not being a vampire…well…a gal can dream can’t she? And that’s what books are; waking dreams or stories, tales to amuse, entertain and distract us from everyday life.

    I love books. Reading books takes me away to other worlds and on grand adventures I just couldn’t have otherwise. Writing them does the same, but also lets me play God for a bit. I know that sounds weird, but when writing my stories, I decide who lives and dies, who succeeds or fails and so on. I can give the good guys the happy endings they deserve and be sure the bad guys lose and get their comeuppance. Unfortunately, that’s something that doesn’t always happen in real life.

    Perhaps that’s why writers write. Maybe we writers are all secret control freaks, wanting to control the world. Or maybe we’re just dreamers lucky enough to be able to make a living at dreaming. Either way I love writing and would do it whether I was paid for it or not. But I’m very very grateful to be able to share these stories with you. I hope they help you escape your troubles and trials if only for a little bit, and I hope they make you smile…You can be certain I’m often chuckling myself silly while writing them. Enjoy!

    Visit Lynsay Sands's Booktopia Author Page


    ISBN: 9780061229688
    ISBN-10: 0061229687
    Series: Argeneau Family
    Audience: General
    Format: Paperback
    Language: English
    Number Of Pages: 384
    Published: 26th December 2007
    Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Inc
    Dimensions (cm): 17.2 x 10.8  x 2.7
    Weight (kg): 0.19