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If your parents divorced when you were young, you were probably affected by the breakdown fo their marriage. Divided loyalties, secrets kept from the other parent, one life lived in two separate houses-these may have been par for the course.
With this guide, you will learn that the effects of the divorce are not permanently harmful. Find out how to forgive your parents, discover new ways to enrich your own relationships and learn that there are alternative realities available.
Divorce experts and psychologists Jeffrey Zimmerman, Ph.D., and Elizabeth S. Thayer Ph.D., show you how to recognize how your parents' divorce influenced your life, resulting in disruptions such as relationship failures due to financial reasons, difficulties with commitment, and repeated situations that "just don't seem to work out." They provide techniques to help you understand and overcome these and other issues common to adult children of divorced parents. Zimmerman and Thayer focus on helping you learn how to build self-esteem, become resilient, establish healthy boundaries, communicate clearly, open up to trust, show love, believe in commitment and deal with vulnerable feelings.
"The authors pool their clinical experience to raise questions aimed at increasing self-awareness and developing a healthier future, all presented as though the reader were sitting in their clinical office. The book is chock-full of wise, pithy advice regarding the management of intimacy and conflict in love, work, and parent-child relationships. This book is eminently readable and level-headed, a welcome antidote to the emotional roller coaster of parental divorce."
--Marsha Kline Pruett, Ph.D., MS, coauthor of "Your Divorce Advisor", associate professor, psychiatry, Yale University School of Medicine
| Acknowledgments | p. ix |
| Introduction: How to Use This Book | p. 1 |
| The Impact of Divorce | |
| What Happened to Me? | p. 7 |
| What Makes It Worse? | |
| Did You Experience an Unhealthy Divorce/ | |
| Are There Really Healthy Divorces? | |
| Will You Always Be a Divorce Victim? | |
| Hope for the Future | |
| The Emotions of Divorce | p. 27 |
| Parental Emotions | |
| The Emotions of the Child | |
| Drama or Trauma? | p. 43 |
| Parental Conflict Addiction | |
| Parent Alienation | |
| Relocation | |
| Other Divorce Dramas | |
| Other Traumas and Losses | |
| Loyalty Conflicts: How Can You Choose? | p. 59 |
| Types of Choices | |
| Loyalty: The Most Difficult Choice | |
| The Effects of Loyalty Conflicts | |
| New Parental Relationships | p. 73 |
| Two Family Units | |
| Mother or Father versus Man or Woman | |
| A New Friend? | |
| We're Getting Married | |
| Let the Blending Begin | |
| A New Stepfamily Multiplied by How Much? | |
| The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly | |
| Recovering from Divorce: Building New Relationship Skills | |
| Taking Care of Yourself | p. 93 |
| Focus and Attitude | |
| Resilience | |
| Letting Go of the Pain | |
| Reducing Guilt | |
| Anger Management and Forgiveness | |
| Letting Go of the Survivor Mentality | |
| Self-Nurturance | |
| Building Self-Esteem | |
| Healing the Relationships with Your Parents | p. 107 |
| Addressing Your Issues | |
| Overcoming Parent Alienation | |
| Dealing with the Aligned Parent--A Special Circumstance | |
| Avoiding Today's Loyalty Conflicts | |
| Guidelines for Healthy Nonromantic Relationships | p. 125 |
| Good and Bad | |
| Boundaries | |
| Trust | |
| Openness | |
| Conflict Resolution | |
| Your Working World | |
| Friends and Family | |
| Change Is in Your Power | |
| Taking Back Your Love Life | p. 141 |
| Where Do You Fit? | |
| Intimacy and Vulnerability | |
| Finances | |
| Sexuality | |
| Communication | |
| Developing Commitment--Believing in Yourself | |
| Recognize the Love in Your Heart | |
| Having Children: Rekindling Your Parenting Desires | p. 165 |
| Creating Your Own Parental Support System | |
| Coparenting with Your Partner | |
| Committing to the Children | |
| Showing Love | |
| Building Healthy Parent/Child Relationships | |
| Healthy Adult Relationships with Your Children | |
| Conclusion | p. 187 |
| References and Suggested Readings | p. 189 |
| Biographies | p. 191 |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
ISBN: 9781572243361
ISBN-10: 1572243368
Series: Unassigned Ser.
Audience:
General
Format:
Paperback
Language:
English
Published: 1st January 2003
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Dimensions (cm): 22.8 x 15.2
x 1.3
Weight (kg): 0.272
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